


past the horizon.

by Irrwisch



Series: mermaids. [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Background Relationships, Background characters - Freeform, Gen, Implied Suicide Attempt, M/M, Mermaids, Older Castiel, POV Dean Winchester, Present Tense, Rain, Umbrellas, unlikely friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-21
Updated: 2018-03-21
Packaged: 2019-04-05 08:41:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14040444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Irrwisch/pseuds/Irrwisch
Summary: The man in the trenchcoat has blue eyes and a blue umbrella in his hands. Dean meets him first at the bus-stop in the rain. The man talks about the rain, and the water, and the horizon and the mermaids. Somehow, Dean keeps meeting this man and despite everything, this man makes perfect sense when he shouldnt. The umbrella belongs only to important people, after all.





	past the horizon.

**Author's Note:**

> Foremost: The implied Suicide attempt is almost at the end and I personally think is not triggering. I can be wrong, thus I tagged it. It is not described in any great detail, but is, overall, relatively important. But just knowing about it is more than enough.  
> So - yeah, that summary is kinda crappy, but who doesn't suck at those? As ever, that story ran away from me and here it is, demanding everything. Note, that you only see Dean's perspective here (duh), so some parts might be kinda confusing. The ending might be a bit fantastic, so do forgive ;D  
> If you liked it (or didn't), I'd very much love hearing it (:

_“I like the rain. It’s very hard being upset while watching the sea, don’t you think?”_

~

Dean sees him the very first time at the bus-stop, in the rain. Well, he sees the bright blue umbrella first, but he doesn’t let that count. When he sees the umbrella, Dean decides he doesn’t like this person. Clearly they had listened to the weather channel and came prepared, while Dean himself hadn’t. Not only hadn’t he not listened to the weather channel, he overslept and barely managed to dress himself in proper clothing. And, of course, his idiot of a little brother was perfectly set up by the time Dean stumbled down the stairs. That reminds him, did Sam take an umbrella? _Do_ they even own an umbrella? Somehow, Dean has his doubts. But Sam is smart. Perhaps this girl Jess will share hers? Maybe Sammy even planned that, that sly fucker. Dean grins a little, as he comes to a stop next to the blue umbrella guy.

“Do you like the rain?”

It takes Dean a moment to realise the guy is talking to him. “Huh?” Dean utters, looking over. The guy with the blue umbrella looks at him, with eyes as blue as his umbrella.

“You were smiling. And you don’t have an umbrella? Were you smiling because of the rain?”

Dean isn’t sure how to answer that, but the guy – who looks to be at least ten years Dean’s senior – surely looks at him like he’s expecting an answer.  “I don’t...” he starts, but the stranger simply interrupts him: “I like watching the rain. But I don’t like getting wet. People do call me weird for that, but I’ve learned to cope. They say I should just stay inside, but it’s not the same, you know? Just like there’s a difference between running on a treadmill and running outside.” The guy twirls his umbrella in his hands, and turns to Dean again, smiling. “Well, what about you? Do you like the rain?”

Dean slowly shakes his head. “Nah, I don’t... I mean, not really... uh, no.” To his credit, the smile on the stranger’s face doesn’t falter one bit. “That’s alright”, he says instead, “I’ll just enjoy it for the both of us.” Dean makes some sort of sound – he isn’t quite sure how to describe it – and decides here and now: this guy is very strange and probably ran away from a mental hospital. Now he can only hope the bus hurries the fuck up.

He hears the stranger shuffle, and then it stops raining. Dean looks up just to see the man stands closer now, including Dean under his umbrella. His closeness does make Dean slightly – scratch that, largely – uncomfortable. And yet he doesn’t move away, because the uneasiness is probably better than getting even wetter. Subtly, Dean glances at this weirdo. He wears a trench coat. Who the hell wears these things except child molesters? “What’s your name?” the stranger asks and his tone is very soft. Dean squirms a little. “Dean”, he says then, utterly unsure why the fuck he just gave that up. What if the molester was going to look for him now? Oh god, hopefully he wouldn’t find Sam.

“Your ride has arrived”, the stranger says and Dean almost fucking bolts. For a moment, he is terrified if the stranger will also be coming on the bus – are there even driving multiple ones on this route? – but when he looks behind him, the man in the trench coat just smiles at him from under his blue umbrella with his blue eyes and just says: “Goodbye, Dean.” Then the door closes and Dean can’t see the man anymore. Dean feels something strange in his chest and he decides to just forget about it as quickly as possible.

 

~

 

_“Ever since the very first time, hearing the waves reminds me of whom I used to be.”_

~

 

Three weeks later finds Dean brooding over homework assignments. In fact, he is very close to giving up. Why doesn’t Sam just do this stuff for him? Dean could probably fluke the tests. But _no_ , Sammy just had to insist Dean do his own stupid homework. How was he supposed to go buy groceries if he’s stuck on this crap all the time? And later, Sam will all be like _“Dean you’re starving me on purpose”_. Geez that kid would be the end of him for sure. Sometimes Dean wishes their dad wouldn’t be driving a stupid truck for a living. Having him here would make things a lot easier. But alas, it is not so, and Dean must see where he’s at.

Also, he’s got a date this weekend. He’s almost very much sure this date will result in sex, and somehow he doesn’t really feel up to that. Tomorrow will look different, hopefully. Giving up, finally, Dean collapses with a sigh. Homework really sucks all the energy out of him. _And_ he still has to go grocery shopping. He groans and flops away from the table he’s been sitting at. Being sixteen and having to maintain an entire household really sucks.

Maybe going shopping now would clear his head – at least a little. And then Sam (and himself) would have food and his brother couldn’t bug him about it later. Yeah, that sounds like a very god idea. Dean grunts as he pushes himself up his chair. He pops his head into Sam’s room and asks if he needs anything, knowing full well Sam would try to educate him about the importance of _greens_. Ugh. He’s wondering who raised Sammy to be so healthy. It had probably been school.  And, of course: He’s told to buy _salad_. What’s ever wrong with pizza and fast-food? Sam would grow up to be a damn hippie, and that would just be embarrassing.

 

~

 

Of course, it’s fucking raining. And _of course_ Dean didn’t bring an umbrella; _again_. So now, he trudges through the stupid rain in his way too-light jacket and hopes he isn’t going to freeze. He’s sure Lisa wouldn’t like him as a Popsicle. So he grumbles and moves faster, hoping by the time he’s finished in the grocery store, it stopped raining.

So yeah, he spends a little more time than necessary inside the store. He pretends he’s looking for salad (he isn’t) and actively avoiding the fast food section (he’s there the whole time). But eventually, he has to pay and leave the store. And of course, the rain hasn’t stopped. It got better, but still... Dean sighs. Now he can just hope his groceries don’t get wet.

“Hello, Dean. Do you still dislike the rain?”

Dean whips his head around at the sound of the voice, and, sure enough: it’s the stranger from the bus stop with the blue umbrella and the blue eyes. Dean just stares at him; because he has honestly forgotten all about him. The stranger just smiles at him. “Would you mind accompany me a while? If it still rains after, I will escort you home with my umbrella.”

He doesn’t wait, though. The stranger just turns around and starts walking, and Dean struggles to catch up to him. Why, he doesn’t know. For all he knows, this man is insane, a child molester and god knows what else. _Don’t go with strangers_ , dad used to say. Yeah, that seems to have stuck perfectly well. Hopefully Sam would evolve to be smarter than that, but he was eating salad too, so... that might help.

The stranger walks a steady pace, just slow enough for Dean to keep up. “Hey, what’s your name? You know mine, but you never told me yours.” The man doesn’t even spare a glance at Dean as he keeps on walking. “Hey, did you hear me? I asked what your name is! Or do you want me to call you weirdo?!” The man keeps ignoring him. “Fine!”, Dean shouts. “Weirdo it is, then. You wanted it, buddy.” Apparently, that name doesn’t seem to concern the man, as he just keeps walking. Dean grumbles and walks at a faster pace. He doesn’t even look where they’re going. He was stupid. Why did he agree to walk with this lunatic? And yeah, Sam _knows_ he’s out for shopping, but that’s not really helping now.

Angrily, Dean keeps following. “I could just leave, you know”, he says then, and the man simply responds with “Yes.” Gods, Dean hates him so much. And yet, Dean doesn’t leave. Somehow it feels important to follow, even if he can’t understand it.

They’re heading for the shore. “Uh, buddy, if the thing you wanna show me is the sea, then, uh... I’ve seen that before.  And I think my brother’s waiting for me, so...” “Your brother shall be fine waiting. I do not wish to show you the water. I have come all this way for you, Dean, and now you will simply follow me. I asked; and you agreed. Why do you complain so constantly?” Dean just stands there, stunned. The man didn’t even turn wholly to face him, just glares at him out of the corner of his eyes. And then he again doesn’t wait, just keeps going and Dean has to hurry to catch up again.

Well, that outburst had been weird. But the rain has gotten worse again, and the prospect of walking home under an umbrella was a little tempting. Concerning, considering this man would still be with him, but strangely, very strangely, also perfectly alright.

 

~

 

They reach the shore, but due to the heavy rain it’s very hard to see the sea properly. The man doesn’t seem fazed though, as he heads down the stone stairs onto the sand and Dean finds himself running after him again. Apparently, that was becoming a habit.

As soon as Weirdo steps on the sand, he gets a little slower, as if he’s concentrating. Dean has to listen close, but he hears the man counting the steps under his breath. Why, Dean wonders. They stop at exactly 27, and he turns towards the water. Dean’s been quiet, because Weirdo surely had a reason to bring him here.

“I’d ask you to sit”, he says then, “but I’m afraid that might be unpleasant. Sadly, that is a side effect of the rain. Are you comfortable standing here with me?” Dean just nods. “Why have you brought me here? What’s so special?” The man smiles brightly; and he seems happy at Dean’s question. “I brought you here because of the mermaids. Have you ever seen the mermaids?”

Dean blinks, because _what?_ Did he just say _mermaids_? Is this lunatic serious? But the man just smiles. “Don’t worry, Dean, I’ll tell you all about them. And one day, I will have a boat and I will sail just past the horizon. Did you know that that’s where they live? Someone told me once, and they were really sure, and I wanted to believe.” The confusion must have shown on Dean’s face, because the man just shakes his head. “If you wish, I will tell you more. Will you return tomorrow? Right here again, 27 steps from the stairs? I would enjoy your company.” Then he hands over his umbrella. “Take it home with you, Dean. If you want, you can return it to me later. And I ask you to look after it, yes? Someone important gave it to me once.” Dean looks up at the umbrella in his hands. If it was that important, why give it to Dean of all people, a stranger? He doesn’t want that responsibility, so he makes a move giving it back, but – but the man is already gone. Dean is left alone at the shore, 27 steps from the stairs, blue umbrella in his hand.

 

~

 

_“I wish to go so far that there is no land anymore. Just me, and all the waves of the world.”_

~

 

Sam never gets to see the blue umbrella. It belongs to Weirdo, and it seems to be an important keepsake. Of course, that makes Dean wonder again why it was given to him. _Look after it_. Yeah, he could do that. And tomorrow, he’d give it back, easy and simple.

Dean hides the umbrella in his room. He makes food, he calls their dad and then the day is over.  Lying on his bed, Dean thinks about Mystery Man. He’s very irritated about the fact that this guy seems perfectly alright there where he is. Dean wasn’t waiting for him, never missed a person in that spot, and yet – this man feels familiar. Dad once talked about a “soul bond” or some shit with Mary. At that time, Dean thought that was stupid adult bullshit. And, to be honest, Dean doesn’t want such a bond with a man so old. And any man in general. Also, mermaids? That guy had to be nuts. No other way, _he had to be_.

 

~

 

And yet, the next day, Dean goes back. It rains again, and Dean takes the umbrella. The guy doesn’t ask for it back. He asks to meet again, and Dean says yes. He doesn’t know why, and he doesn’t believe in mermaids, but...

Dean thinks there might be something past the horizon.

 

~

 

Every day, Dean returns. It’s raining quite a lot. And when it’s not, the guy is surrounded by fireflies. If Dean didn’t know better, he’d say the guy is dancing with them. Dean brings the umbrella and never offers to return it. Sam started asking if Dean finally made friends he’d meet outside school (except for drinking) and he just glared; because Dude is _not_ his friend.

Dude is weird, and strange and just... just something else. So what if he’s been neglecting Lisa for this guy? So what if this guy made Dean read up on mermaids? If anything, Sam should be happy Dean is picking up books once in a while.

His phone vibrates and Dean huffs with a sigh. That would be Lisa, _again_. And surely she’s gonna be bothering him about the party next Saturday. He’d promised her ages ago they would go together and he really should do that, considering how less she’s actually seen of him lately. People had even asked him at school if they were still together. Dean grumbles and he throws the book in the corner.

He doesn’t go to the guy at his usual time. He misses the mark, somehow, and then it’s suddenly so late he’s got to shoo Sam to bed. It’s school tomorrow, after all. As Dean gets ready for bed himself, he glances out the window; and sees the pouring rain.

He thinks of Dude, in his trench coat, without an umbrella. The guy must be drenched. And yeah, Dean knows logic says the guy is long gone when he realised Dean wasn’t gonna come, and yet... Dean thinks about this guy, sitting on the sand, 27 steps from the stairs, watching the sea.

And then Dean runs. He doesn’t even grab the umbrella, barely puts on shoes; and runs. He runs the whole way to the beach, because Dude has been waiting for him the whole day.

 

~

 

Dean arrives at the shore, completely out of breath and drenched to the bone, just fifteen minutes later. He doesn’t even take a minute to catch his breath; he stumbles towards the shore immediately. “You’re still here”, Dean cries and he starts running. The man gets up and catches Dean in his arms. And no matter how weird this should be, it feels good. “Sorry”, Dean breathes, “I wanted, but then it was so late and then there was the rain and I thought about you and the umbrella, and...”

“Shhh”, the man shushes him and Dean stills, taking a few deep breaths. “You’re here now. I never mind waiting, Dean. I’m glad you came. But we should not stay too much longer. It’s quite late, I’m afraid and you are wet, as well.” Dean nods against his chest and takes a step away. “Yeah, I just... I just didn’t wanna you thinking I dumped you or something.” The man smiles broadly at him and not for the first time Dean is intrigued by that and wondering what was going on in his head, as well.

“I know you wouldn’t, Dean.” He turns his head and looks at the water. “I think I can hear the mermaids coming. I observed them tonight, and they seem to come closer. They’ll reach the shore soon.” Dean takes a step closer. “I thought they live just past the horizon?” The man nods. “Yes. But why should they not travel? Furthermore, I fear I lured them here. I’m afraid I stayed a while too long“. There is some panic in Dean’s chest. This sounds like a good-bye. Dean doesn’t like good-byes. They are often forever, and for some reason he doesn’t want this guy to leave.

“Tell me your name”, Dean says then. “If you have to go, at least tell me your name.” The guy turns and smiles at him. “If I do, will you promise me something? It’s very important and you can’t break your promise.” At Dean’s nod, he continues: “Next Saturday, the mermaids will reach the shore. I need you to be here, Dean. Right here, 27 steps from the stairs, at the exact time of 18:03. Not sooner, and not later. If you can’t manage that, don’t make a promise to me. It’s very important, because I can’t be here, Dean. Will you promise me?” Dean hesitates. Being somewhere at the exact minute might be tough. “If I don’t”, Dean starts, “what will happen?” The man simply smiles: “Everything will change. But then, it’ll be alright. It’s your choice, Dean, and whether you promise me or not, your life shall still unfurl as it will.”

Dean looks at him. The promise doesn’t sound like much. And, if it’s really that important... what’s the harm? “Okay. I’ll be here. Saturday, 27 steps, 18:03. I promise.” Dude hugs him again. “Swear onto me, Dean. Swear onto your car, your dad, your brother, your life. Don’t make empty promises to me, Dean”, the man whispers, but to Dean, it sounded like a shout from the breaking waves. “I swear”, Dean whispers with such a tiny voice he can’t believe is his. The man strokes his hair lightly, and speaks again.

“Very well. You shall receive your reward then. My name is Castiel.”

 

~

 

_“The more I walk the sea, the more I understand; and the more I do, the less the water understands.”_

~

 

“That’s an angel’s name”, Sam says after he overhears Dean muttering it. And that, somehow, makes absolute perfect sense, Dean thinks.

“The blue umbrella”, Dean says and Sam looks at him. He lets Sam see it, now. Somehow it feels like something’s ending, like... like Castiel is _gone_. Sam opens the umbrella and holds it over his head. “It’s like I can hear something”, he says and looks at Dean. “The waves, and... something beyond that, too. But it’s really faint, though.” Dean takes the umbrella back and closes it. “It’s important”, Dean says. “Castiel said that. Someone important gave it to him once and...” “Why give it to you, then?”

Dean doesn’t know. “Maybe I’m meant to pass it on to someone important.”

Sam just looks at him. “Maybe you’re important”, he says and then leaves to go to bed.

 

~

 

“Dean”, Lisa says at school to him. It’s the few precious minutes before classes actually start and Dean planned to use them to sleep – or hastily copying some homework. And while, yeah, he _did_ ignore Lisa, it’s not making it any better. “Yeah?”

“You haven’t forgotten the party, right? Don’t stand me up. Almost everyone's gonna be there and half of them are thinking we’re not even together anymore.” Dean waves a hand at her. “Who cares what they think? _We_ know we’re still on, right? And don’t worry; I wouldn’t miss a party for anything.” Lisa smiles at that and softly kisses him. “Okay. Don’t fall asleep now, I know how much you love Literature.” Dean grunts, Lisa laughs and everything’s all right.

Later, at lunch, Dean almost asks Charlie to work her magic to see if she can turn Castiel up; find out if he’s local or if he stayed in a motel somewhere. And yet, he doesn’t. After all, what would he do if she couldn’t find anything?

 

~

 

Dean goes back to beach. Somehow, he knows Castiel won’t be there, and yet, he still has to go. As expected, Castiel isn’t there. There’s someone else, too. Dean doesn’t get too close, but the other one doesn’t seem to have noticed him. He just stands there, watching the water. It’s by no means very warm around here, and the guy just wears a hoodie. Transfixed, Dean stares at him. Somehow, there’s something, but surely he’s just imagining it. Instead, he looks at the sea. Castiel said the mermaids were close to shore. Whatever that means. Dean really wishes Castiel was here to explain, or, well, to spout more random facts. He turns his head again and the guy now looks at him. He’s too far away to really see him, but something makes Dean flee, and he isn’t sure what it was.

He doesn’t tell Sam, and hopes to forget about it soon.

Later, he texts Lisa, and that boy floats out of his mind.

 

~

 

As he promised, next Saturday Dean dresses up. He’s gonna pick Lisa up and then they’re gonna show at this party together and finally, the rumours are gonna die down. Then, Dean is gonna get drunk, maybe have sex, and then Lisa – ever responsible – is probably gonna get him back home. Yes, that sounds like a good plan.

“You’re going out?” Sam asks from the doorway and Dean nods. “Yeah. I’m gonna leave you some money for pizza or something, okay? Don’t wait up on me either, I might be late.” Sam just nods. “Take an umbrella, though. The forecast said to watch out for rain.” Dean laughs. “Yeah, okay, whatever, princess.” Dean ruffles Sam’s hair and grabs the umbrella next to the door. “I’m heading out now. Don’t nerd too hard!”

Dean takes the Impala, and drives over to Lisa’s. She’s clearly flattered being picked up in his Baby; and not having to ride the bus. The party is about twenty minutes from Dean’s place, so if the worst comes to pass and he’s completely smashed, he can technically still walk home. Or Lisa organises a car pool or something. She’s very good at that. They arrive at the party at around 17:45. They’re a tad bit early, but better than being so late all the booze is gone. It actually enables them to find a nice _cuddle spot_ before the party really starts. Lisa’s words, not his.

Benny greets them at the door and ushers them inside. “Nice umbrella you got there, brother”, he says, “didn’t take you as the colourful guy. “ Dean frowns a little at that and looks down at the umbrella he brought inside with him.

Castiel’s umbrella.

Oh god.

_Next Saturday, 27 steps from the stairs, at 18:03._

Next Saturday, have a party with Lisa to show you’re still a couple.

_Swear onto me, Dean. Swear onto your car, your dad, your brother, your life. Don’t make empty promises to me, Dean._

17:49. Twenty minutes until home. Five more minutes to the shore. He won’t make it. _He won’t make it._ Dean turns around and runs to the car. He ignores Lisa’s screams and jams the gas. He has to make it. He promised.

_He promised._

The mermaids are so close to the shore.

 

~

 

_“Look upon me. Look upon me and witness the sea I carry within.”_

 

~

 

Dean ignores all and every traffic rule he ever heard or read about. He couldn’t even say why this is so important. It just _was_ , and that was reason enough. Dean doesn’t know what will happen if he doesn’t make it – at all; or just not on time. Castiel said everything would change, and yet Dean’s life would not be affected. So he shouldn’t care. He shouldn’t care as much as he does.

_Someone important gave it to me once._

_Maybe you’re important._

Dean’s knuckles turn white. He doesn’t dare checking the time, way too afraid he would be too late. What would happen if he didn’t make it? Castiel made it sound so important. _They’ll reach the shore soon._ And then what? What would happen? He doesn’t want to find out. He should’ve asked. Castiel would’ve known. He floors the gas even more and barely makes the green light. Not that it would have mattered, anyway.

_He won’t make it._

_He won’t make it._

_He won’t_ make _it._

But he has to make it.

Something’s terrible gonna happen if he breaks his promise. He doesn’t know what, but if it’d been so damn important to Castiel, it would be huge. Dean has the urge to check the time, but he doesn’t dare. Right now, he can live in blissful illusion.

 

~

 

Finally arriving, Dean doesn’t bother turning off the engine or even really locking the car. Maybe, by small chance, it just turned 18:03 and he’s just on time. He flies down the stairs and stops 27 steps after it. He looks onto the sea but nothing’s there.  It’s just the water, and an advanced sunset. Irritated, Dean takes a step closer and almost stumbles over something.

Shoes.

What are shoes doing here? If someone took a swim, Dean would see them; also they would have probably taken off more than their shoes. He frowns and looks at the water again. Perhaps they’re diving right now?

There – there’s something in the water.

But it’s not moving. Perhaps it’s driftwood?

There are shoes here.

That’s just driftwood out there, drifting.

_Everything will change. But then, it’ll be alright._

No.

It won’t be alright.

Dean screams and runs for the driftwood.

It needs to wear its shoes.

 

~

 

The driftwood isn’t breathing.

But Dean doesn’t give up. He messed up, so he’s gonna make it right again. What would Sam think of him? Worse, what would _Castiel_ think? He needs to make it right. He _can_ make this right. He’ll get the driftwood up and breathing, he’s gonna make it wear its shoes and then he’s gonna tell it all about the mermaids and how careful you have to be when they’re this close to the shore.

“Come on”, he says, “come _fucking_ on!”

“He’s dead”, someone says behind Dean and he ignores them. No. The driftwood is _not_ dead. It doesn’t matter what someone else thinks they know. Dean’s here, he saved the driftwood and now he’s gonna get it upright again.

“You promised me”, the one behind him says and Dean freezes. “You promised me, and yet, you failed me.”

The worst part is maybe the complete lack of disappointment. Dean turns around and there he stands, in the last strands of dying sunlight, making him look almost ethereal – Castiel. Castiel with his tan trench coat, his blue tie, his blue eyes and his blue umbrella. Dean wants to curl into himself. Castiel took the umbrella back. Apparently Dean _wasn’t_ important enough.

“It was just driftwood”, Dean replies weakly. “I just wanted to have it wear its shoes.”

Castiel actually smiles at that. “That is very kind of you, Dean. And you’re right. The driftwood couldn’t go anywhere without his shoes, now could it? Why do you think he left them behind?” Castiel stands next to Dean now, and the umbrella almost makes it look like there’s an ocean behind him.  “I... I don’t know”, Dean admits. “Maybe so they don’t get wet?” Castiel actually looks like he’s considering that option. “Perhaps. But with the rest of him wet, the shoes wouldn’t last long. Tell me, Dean, without the shoes, would have watched the water closer?” Dean grabs the driftwood’s hoodie tight.  “What if he left his shoes behind so someone would look and see him?” Castiel looks at him and smiles. “And you did”, he says. “You saw his shoes and you saw him, too.”

“But I was too late. I didn’t see him early enough, and I messed up and I can’t make it right again. What will Sam think of me? What will _you_?” It really shouldn’t be important, what Castiel thinks. This man is, essentially, still a complete stranger. But it matters. It matters so much, just because it does. Castiel smiles still. “It’ll be alright. You made a promise to me, and you failed; and now someone is dead. That’s okay. When I asked for your promise, I already knew you wouldn’t make it. You always promise me, Dean, and always you fail. It always happens and will always happen. Yet, I don’t think it was the point. Perhaps I want you to remember what a promise means. Perhaps I also wait for the time where you don’t fail me. Where you come here on time and see his shoes, see him and save him. I wonder what happens then. What do you think? If you were to keep your promise, what would happen? Do you think all of this would stop?”

Dean could just stare at him. Nothing of what Castiel just said made any sense. And, how is he supposed to answer that? “Why didn’t you tell me what would happen, then? Then you would have known. And he... and the driftwood would still be alive.” Castiel almost looks disappointed. “When you are conducting an experiment, Dean, you don’t give away your reason. It would false the results.”

“But he’d be alive”, Dean says almost toneless. “He wouldn’t be dead. He _wouldn’t_ be _dead._ ”

“Do you want to save him?”

“Yes.” Dean isn’t sure if he said that, or if the waves carried it away, but Castiel nods anyway. “Promise me something else, then.” Dean nods. He doesn’t trust his voice anymore. Castiel cups Dean’s face in his hands and presses a soft kiss against his forehead. It feels strange, somehow, like a breeze.

Castiel gathers the driftwood in his arms and stands up. Dean still kneels in the sand, and he lifts his face up. The sun’s almost gone now, but Castiel still seems so bright, like he’s a sun of his own. “I need you to see me. I need you to look at me. You need to see me, Dean. Because when you do, then I can see the mermaids.” Castiel smiles. “Someone important gave me a wonderful gift once. I need it to be you, Dean. If it’s going to be you, I can give it to you, too, and everything will work out.”

Dean just stares, because that makes even less sense than the nonsense from right before. Castiel doesn’t wait; he simply turns around and walks into the water. “No”, he says and wants to reach out and –    

Then he is standing atop the stairs and someone is walking into the water. Even without checking the time, he knows exactly how late it is. He doesn’t understand, but he doesn’t care. There are shoes on the beach and there’s someone walking into the waves and –

“No!”

Dean runs. He runs the 27 steps and he runs into the water. He grabs the boy – it’s a boy, it’s not driftwood, _it’s not driftwood_ – and yanks him back, because he needs to wear his shoes. The boy struggles, but Dean locks his arms around his torso. He’s pretty sure the boy is yelling something but he can’t hear it. He throws him at the sand and immediately sits in front of him. “What the hell are you doing?!” The boy demands to know and looks at Dean. His eyes are blue. His eyes are blue and Dean wants to puke because nothing makes sense.

_I need you to see me._

“I saw you”, Dean says. “I saw you; and I saw your shoes and you can’t go somewhere without your shoes.” Blue eyes look at him, unblinking. “You saw me?” he asks quietly and Dean nods and he feels terrible because this is his second chance. The boy is silent and looks down. He doesn’t look happy. He grabs his shoes and puts them on his wet socks. “Thanks”, he says quietly. “But I don’t need you to see me.” He stands up then and Dean doesn’t know what to say to make him stay. “Don’t forget your umbrella. I’m sure it’s important to you.” He turns around and leaves and Dean is lost. He looks at the umbrella lying in the sand and he thinks why the umbrella is important. The blue is almost mockery.

Dean still sits in the sand long after the sun has gone down.

Lisa called a few times.

He ignored them all.

 

~

 

_“What I am I will gladly give to the sea. But if you’d ask, I would hold your hand until the very end.”_

 

~

 

Later, he tells Sam about it. Sam, bless his soul, doesn’t say anything and simply sits with him quietly, comforting.

“Do you think you’ll see him again?”

“I don’t know. Maybe if I look for the mermaids. Do you think he knows about the mermaids?”

“Maybe not. Why don’t you show him? They seem to be important.”

“But I don’t know how to find him. How am I supposed to tell him about it if I can’t find him?”

“He found you first. So you can find him, too. You will, because I guess you already have.”

They look towards the blue umbrella that stands in the corner. Its imagery is hope and mockery both.

“I will find him again, Sam. What if he loses his shoes again?”

 

~

 

Castiel is not a common name. That’s a definite plus on the side, since the one you find’s likely the one you were looking for. Problem, not every system enters first names as well. Castiel could be every C. he ever found on school websites. Maybe Castiel isn’t even a part of any club, and, therefore, would not be mentioned on the school website either. No, he needs to go deeper, but he lacks the skills to do so. So this would become a group effort. That was okay. Perhaps it would be weird, but Charlie was weird too, so maybe it would be a little less weird.

Lisa yells at him on Monday at school. She can’t believe how he just abandoned her there and then didn’t even contact her. She’d been worried and she’s sorry, but this doesn’t seem to be working. That’s okay. He hadn’t been fair to Lisa these past few weeks, anyway. Half the school was already thinking they were off, anyway, so let’s just make them right. So Dean just nods when she’s finished and she seems to deflate a bit. “I’m sorry”, she says and she means it. She sounds like this is her fault. “It’s not your fault, Lisa”, Dean says. She smiles weakly. “Something’s on with you. You look distracted. I hope it works out fine, yeah?” Dean nods and he smiles. Lisa is a good person and she definitely deserves better than him. She leaves and Dean really couldn’t care less about the busied whispering in class.

At lunch, Dean dashes out of class to try and find Charlie before anything stops him. Luckily, it doesn’t take him long to find her – somehow Charlie’s already always in lunch hall, but that works in his favour this time. “Charlie”, he says, not bothering with any hello. “I need your help.” Charlie looks up at him and frown. “What, you want to ruin Lisa’s online reputation? Cause I can do that. You want me to do that?”

“What? No! I need you to find someone. But I just know his name. I don’t know his last name or anything or where he goes to school. All I know is that he should be relatively local and around our age.”

Charlie raises an eyebrow. “Are you a stalker, handmaiden? Or am I doing this for love? Also, if I do that, I want to be fed.” He nods. “Thanks, Char. The name is Castiel and no, I’m not gonna tell you about our “meet-cute”, because no.” Charlie, the little bitch, pouts. “Castiel’s an odd name”, Gilda next to her says. “Yeah, I thought it might at least make the search a bit easier, you know? I meaning, looking for Tom might be a lot longer, ‘cause there are hundreds of those.” Gilda squints and Dean can see in her face that she’s sceptical. “Look, Charlie, just find him, yeah? I promise I’ll explain. Just, just not right now.”

Charlie sighs. “Yeah, okay. I’ll see what my wizard hands can find. But I want three pizzas, upfront, Winchester.” Dean nods and has hope. He’s gonna find Castiel. He’s gonna find him and then everything’s gonna make sense after a while.

 

~

 

It’s been a year now. It’s been a year since he last saw Castiel. A few months ago, Charlie gave up her search. She (of course) found several C.s, but none of them had a first name entered. Dean also looked at way too many class pictures to try and find him, but came up with nothing.

To be honest, he was close to giving up. Even dad noticed his constant sulking and considering that dad was almost never home, it kinda spoke volumes. Sam also tried to help but he didn’t came up with anything either.

In some futile attempt, Dean often went back to the shore. Somehow, he thought, maybe Castiel’s gonna be there, either in the rain, or with all the fireflies. But he never was. And no matter how long Dean stayed there watching the water, he failed to hear the mermaids as Castiel could. He felt like a disappointment. And he’s pretty sure the mermaids were saying that, too.

So, a year later Dean Winchester stands at the bus-stop. It’s raining terribly, but he’s got Castiel’s umbrella on him. Sometimes it feels like sacrilege, using it, but then, it’s just an umbrella and it’s meant to be used.

He hears steps next to him and doesn’t think of anything. He hears Dude shifting next to him – perhaps he doesn’t have an umbrella, and Dean turns to look at the new arrival. And he freezes, because that’s not gonna be happening, now.

It’s Castiel.

Castiel is standing next to him, in the rain, looking just like the driftwood he could’ve been once. A quick glance down tells him Castiel is at least wearing shoes. That’s good. You can’t go anywhere without shoes, after all.

“Do you like the rain?”

He almost chokes it out, because it means so much, on so many levels. Castiel turns his head, surprised, and looks at him. Dean wonders if the boy recognises him. It’s been a year, after all. “What?” Castiel asks, tilting his head a little. “Why do you ask that?” Dean smiles. “Cause you don’t have an umbrella. The weather forecast spoke of rain and here you are and no umbrella in sight. You must like the rain.” Castiel squints. “I don’t have an umbrella. And I don’t think I care particularly much about getting wet. You should know that, yes?”

Shit. So Castiel remembers him. That’s some weird first impression, but it makes Dean feel all warm inside.  “I like watching the rain. But I don’t like getting wet.” Castiel tilts his head again. “Why don’t you just stay inside then? You can watch the rain from inside, too.”

Dean smiles softly. “Yeah, you’re right.” He can see his bus coming and right now, he hates schedules. “But from inside, I can’t hear the mermaids.” Castiel’s eyes widen a little, and he asks “Mermaids?” like he’s never heard that term before and maybe he hadn’t.

_Someone told me once._

Dean presses the umbrella into Castiel’s hands. “Here, take that. It’s for important people only, alright? Someone told me once. So don’t lose, okay? If you want, you can give it back to me next time.” Before he could do more stupid things, Dean turns around and starts boarding the bus.

“Wait”, he hears Castiel say, “what’s your name?” Dean chokes “Dean” out of his throat and looks at the boy again.

The boy just smiles at him from under his blue umbrella with his blue eyes and just says:

“Hello, Dean.”

 

~

 

_“I have no limit at the shore. Wherever I want to go, the mermaids will guide me. Take my hand, and let me take you with me. I can’t find the end alone, but when you’re with me, I just might.”_

 


End file.
